Pain filled day yesterday but the sun is out today


After yesterdays non sleep and total fatigue, the rest of the day was not really that pleasant. The pain was horrible through the day, my hands and legs were especially bad and I was on the verge of getting a migraine all afternoon. Thankfully there were positives to help me through the day, had the neighbours pop in for a little bit, which is always nice.

Made a trip to the local plaza, despite the fact I am basically broke, I finally went into Bras & Things and got remeasured for a bra, my last measurement 2 years ago I was a 16/18 DD, this time around an 18/F – these things seriously do not shrink no matter if I lose weight. So yes, bigger mammaries have no doubt been hurting my back, but a proper fitting bra actually helped. I did spent the money for it, and I noticed right away my posture was already correcting itself and I felt a lot lighter. Good decision.

I also invested in some new books, I purchased Joe Hill’s Horns on Tuesday and I picked up Wild by Cheryl Strayed (my sister has Produced the film version, can’t wait to see it), Midnight Movie by Tobe Hooper (yes the horror director) and a nice edition of Dracula by Bram Stoker, since I don’t actually own my own copy. I have a lot of books to read so hopefully these will keep me occupied while I try and relax as much as possible. Reading is one of the only things left I can do without much discomfort. Considering I am an official film critic and these conditions make it so difficult to watch a film and concentrate and then go and write a review. Doing the reviews in audio forms is much easier and I do find myself forgetting to do them. A step at a time I guess. I may just need to step away from the reviewing for a few weeks and go back in fresh. It is always hard to make that decision and to do something right for myself, as I always feel I am letting someone down.

Last night I had trouble just sitting and being able to watch a few shows with my Mum, I kept turning to my phone to be doing something. I can’t stand that I keep doing it, and it has become a natural action. I am going to actively try to use my phone less, don’t hop on Facebook as much and mainly play a few games. I actually really love playing Kim Kardashian: Hollywood, it is a great escapism game, I am not focusing on myself so my brain actually relaxes itself. And you know I get to be an A list celebrity haha. Hobbies are actually a good thing to have when dealing with chronic illnesses and depression, but when these conditions take away the ability to do them it really is frustrating. I love to sit and colour, but its becoming difficult to use hold a texter. I am in pain doing it and I am losing my grip. I love doing puzzles, yet I end up getting headaches, same with building Lego. My other hobby of doll collecting requires money so I have slowed down my spending there. However I do enjoy changing their clothes and posing them, and there are days I can’t even manage that.

Not sure what I will do today, the sun is out finally after a week of doom and gloom, in typical Melbourne fashion. So I hope I can get some time outside and maybe I will look into getting something for my hands, to hopefully ease the pain or allow me to actually grip things. We shall see … and a trip to the cinema seems unlikely, not feeling it today unfortunately.


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